Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Tragedy of Suicide and Christian Response...

My next few posts will be copy from a few of my Facebook statuses. I would like to have quick access to these thoughts before they get buried in my feed. This particular response comes from all the swirling debate concerning the tragic death of Robin Williams. The cause of death was determined to be suicide.

With all the tragedy in the world right now, arguing over the eternal state of a person who has committed suicide seems ludicrous (especially since this is an internal debate that makes us-Christians-all look petty). We have misplaced our theological efforts. Should we not be thinking about how our faith could bring less suffering to those around us, how our faith might make us more suitable for bringing relief, joy, and peace? 

We worry so much about others and whether or not they are right or wrong that we have little time to actually make our theology practical, to live out our beliefs of helping others, of being love, of reaching out to the oppressed. We should judge ourselves sometime if we are to judge anyone. But, since we (the social community) are talking about this issue, let me say this, just as food for thought. 

I suffered depression many years ago in my early years of college. It was a horrible experience. It feels like a lifetime ago, and, yet, at the time, it felt like it lasted a lifetime. It is easy to pick out persons who have never experienced depression. They are the ones who say things like, "Why don't you just figure out what is bothering you and work on it?" "You need to decide to be happier." "Don't focus on it." "Pray about it." 

The truth is that, if I knew what was wrong, I would have loved to fix it. Focus was often impossible. Deciding to just be happy is ridiculous. Why not just say the same to a grieving person? As for prayer, I probably did more praying in depression than ever before or after. I know that many who spoke this way were just trying to help, but real help doesn't come in trying to fix the person, but in walking with them, in being there for them, by listening to them, about showing true concern for them, about motivating the other to find real help (instead of pretending you know how to help), in understanding that you might not get what depression is and that's okay. 

I cannot tell you how relieved I was when a friend of mine just said, "I can't imagine, but let's talk about it." Chemical imbalance is real, and it is torture. It is like being eaten alive from the inside out. I do believe God can and does help heal, but suggesting that depression in someway makes the sufferer less "godly," or that one's own sin has to be the sole reason for depression, is ridiculous and callous. We live in a fallen world that causes all sorts of deficiencies in the human being. Chemical imbalance is not a special curse passed on the unrepentant sinner, but a real part of living in a broken world, just like cancer, AIDS, and heart disease. 

Our suffering can take us to dark places, to sinful places, places where we should not go. Christ revealed to us that sin in the heart is just as blameworthy as committed sin, and, in the darkness of my depression, I committed the sin in my heart of wishing I were not alive, of taking for granted the gift of life. So, perhaps I am just as guilty as the one's that acted upon his or her wishes. Thank God He offers forgiveness and healing. I needed that. I am glad to say that I did get help, and I am much better today. In fact, it was something God used, in time, to make me a better person, a much more understanding person for sure. I praise God for that. 

But, what about people who go to those dark places and don't make it out? I like what Dr. Ben Witherington III said in his recent blog post: "One of the things I would stress when we hear stories like this, especially about suicide, is that a person should never be judged by the worst moment or moments in their life, even if it is their last moment in this world. The Bible says nothing about suicide being some kind of unforgivable sin. Judging people on the basis of their worst moments is certainly not how Christ evaluated people. People should be evaluated at their very best, especially if it is a consistent part of who they are over a long period of time. It is of course not our job, even if you are a minister to makes some kind of final pronouncement about a person’s eternal destiny. Only God knows everything, including that." Amen, Doc. 

We are all blameworthy for so many things, and often these things are things we did when we felt hopeless, lost, fearful, and desperate, because we live in a world that can be so dark and tasteless. Therefore, we should be willing to be understanding, forgiving, and caring. This does not excuse our acts, especially wrongdoing against others. In fact, for any one who knew me in the days of my depression (early college) that remembers my acting like a total jerk to you, I ask for your forgiveness. It was a long time ago, and I do not remember all the people I hurt, but you might remember. I am sorry. I really am. But, again, we all need forgiveness. 

We all go to dark places at times. If you are a Christian, you are called to be salt and light. You do not have to judge. You do not have to fix everyone. All you must do is be light and salt, bringing sight of hope in the midst of the darkness of desperation and godly flavor to tasteless situations, and most often that is summed up in being loving. We are the temple of God, and when we want to see Him break into the darkness, perhaps we are the vessels He wants to use to do just that. He lives in us. So, let's not waste our time theologizing about the lost and the hurting as we sit at a safe distance from them. Let's take our theology and put it to work for the oppressed, the sick, the lonely, and all those desperate for love.

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