In Spite of Our Gifts: What I Learned During My Mission Trip.

There is a big hype in the church centered upon finding our place in ministry in light of our spiritual gifts. I think this is a great thing. Obviously enough if God has given us certain gifts, we are meant to use them. To ignore our God-given gifts is to be irresponsible with God’s grace. We need only look to the parable of the talents to see this as true. Even so, it seems to me that the Church’s obsession with gifts can and does often become reason to limit our ministry, instead of reason to do ministry.

While some might disagree, I feel that I have been given the gift of writing. I thrive in the solitude that sitting behind a screen offers. At times I know what I write is not of me, because, at least to me, it seems profound.  I am granted peace in the quiet of writing. I could be perfectly happy doing nothing but writing for the rest of my life.

On the other hand, I am not naturally gifted at being a team leader. I enjoy following instructions much more than giving them. While I do well at public speaking, there is a separation between the speaker and the audience when an actual speech is being given. However, being a public speaker does not make one automatically gifted at social engagement or at leadership. I have a bit of social anxiety, and I can be socially awkward. I do not like being in the midst of a large group of people, and I am certainly not gifted in ministry to children. So, who am I to lead a team out to the Navajo Reservation to serve a group of kids for VBS? This is not where I thrive.

If I was into the latest church trend, I would be able to show my skills assessment and get off the hook for this sort of job. I have taken two different and very well respected skills assessments and neither suggested I have the slightest gift for such a leadership position. I have heard so many other church goers say, “Well, that is just not my gift,” and it has seemed to get them a free pass. As a person who enjoys avoiding problems, I like free passes. So, I told God long ago that I was not to be a team leader for VBS missions. He did not accept the pass.

Why will this not work for me? I tried two years ago to do my best to have the mission trip canceled, and God kept pushing open the doors I was trying to shut. It made me so angry, and I protested that if He wanted to have me serve in such a capacity he should gift me with the skills I would need to confidently do the job. He gave me no such comfort. But, He called me out anyway. And guess what: The trip went just fine, in spite of me, the leader, and it has gone well ever since, even this year, when Murphy’s law was in full force.

The truth of the matter is that God calls us to use our gifts, but His call on our lives is certainly not limited to the gifts He gives us. If we were able to dismiss our calling on the grounds of insufficient gifting, no human would be in ministry. If we look to the Bible, we see several of its key figures coming up with very reasonable objections to His call in light of their own gifts. In fact, objection to God’s call on the grounds of lack of gifts is prolific in Scripture:

Gideon: “O my Lord, how can I save Israel? Indeed my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.” Judges 6:15

Moses:  But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt…suppose they will not believe me or listen to my voice… Suppose they say, ‘The Lord has not appeared to you’…O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue…O my Lord, please send by the hand of whomever else You may send.” Exodus 3:11; 4:1, 10, 13

Jeremiah: Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth. Jeremiah 1:6

Isaiah: Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; Isaiah 5a.

Of course, seeing one’s self as inadequate before God and in light of His call is not limited to these figures: Jonah runs, Mary questions how she can carry the Messiah, the Disciples are often showing their own shortcomings, the list goes on. But, what God sets out to do in the lives of these inadequate persons, He does.

I never feel more inadequate in my calling than when I lead a team to the Reservation. When I go by myself to teach pastor-training classes, I am fine. I am in my element. I know how to teach. When I am there to lead a VBS, I am out of my league. I do not know anything about organizing a team, or about children’s ministry. But, it is a calling I cannot escape. And, although I know that God is the one who has called me, and He will lead me through, I cannot help but to object in light of my own flaws, just as those who were called before me.

Before I left, I laid awake for several nights imagining all the possible problems that could arise, or so I thought. Two of the biggest concerns were no kids showing up, or having our vans get stuck in sand, like last year. What happened instead was a series of unimaginable events.

After the team arrived safely to Albuquerque and we all made the 6 plus hour trip to our destination, I thought I was going to be ok. But, that night, Esther, one of the Navajo ladies who helps us out during our week there said: “Tab, you better start picking kids up early, there is another VBS mission across the river that is competing with us.” I smiled and said, “If we are all doing Christ’s work, we are not competing.” She smiled back and said, “Well, they think we are.” That is when it hit me; my worst fear was coming true. No kids were going to come.

In years past, our highest number of kids was 70 on the last day, the highest for the first day being no more than 48, if I remember correctly. I was going to be happy with 30. We left the next morning earlier than expected to see if we could find any kids, by the end of it, we had over 60…on the first day. My number one fear was, even in light of unforeseen “competition,” no concern for God.

The pick up and drop off trips take a little more than an hour and take the drivers to really remote places on long dirt roads where it is easy to get stuck in the sand, but after making it through the first day, I thought my second fear had been done away with. So, after our first successful day of VBS had ended, I took my team for some much deserved sight seeing. Clouds coalesced in the distance, but nothing to be too concerned about. I mean, how much can it rain in the desert, right? When we made it to town to buy groceries for dinner, the bottom fell out.

It began to hail. We hurried to get groceries and rushed to the church, but when we got to the highway leading to the church, the rain and wind was sweeping down the plateau so fast that I could not see ten feet in front of me. We pulled over, but the wind was so strong it felt as if it was going to tip the van. We crept to the turn off to the church, and we turned down the little dirt path. There was a problem. For lack of a better term, a river had formed in front of the church.

I have never been in a flash flood in the desert before, so I thought to myself that perhaps we should wait it out. That is when the road around the vans began to wash out underneath. Sitting still was no longer an option, so I gunned it across the river, Bill, the driver behind me, following. We made it, and just in time. The river, just minutes after we drove across it, began to cut into the desert ground. It created a wash out about four feet deep and fifteen yards across and ran for as long as the eye could see as it swept the earth away, leaving a crevasse between the road and us. There was another river behind the church that met up with the one in front just beyond us. In other words, we were now stuck on an island.

When we got inside, the power was out, and reports came in from across the river, as we yelled back and forth to the locals on the other side, that the black top on the road had been washed out. If there were no road in the direction of the reports, there would be no way to pick up kids for the rest of the week. Moreover, there was no way to drive the vans back over the river. Stranded.

The next day, the sun came out and began to dry up the desert. My team made food for the local village and many were very appreciative since they were without electricity and had no means to prepare food. We also took the time to pack over 200 backpacks for many of the kids on the reservation. Road crews pushed the washed up mud from the road, revealing the blacktop had not washed, it had just been buried, and by the next morning, Bill, found a way to get both vans across the crevasse. The power came back on the next day (and went out again, and on again). We had another day of VBS.

On this day, a kid without a license pulled up to drop off some siblings, not an uncommon thing on the reservation, and he backed over a spigot, effectively knocking out water to the whole church. But, we had bought plenty to last us during our VBS, and Bill, again being the hero, fixed the line before the day’s end. Our final day of VBS went off without a hitch. We had a record number of kids show, many of which never heard the name of Christ until our visit.

The week went on to prove to be the best yet. The team made it home safe, and I stayed to teach and be a part of an incredible pastor training session. And, as I sit here in the airport, I cannot help but thank God for ignoring my objections. While the task and even more so, the disasters, seemed too much to handle, God accomplished what He set out to accomplish. Praise Him!

If He calls you, don’t listen to what your fears say, don’t listen to what the assessment test tell you that you cannot do. Only listen to Him.