Christians are called to be the light unto the world, but, the way I see it, we are, at best, many scattered and fragmented lights. I have confessed my belief in one holy, apostolic, and catholic (universal) church; however, many times I fear that I speak of an ideal, not a reality. I have never experienced a church that does not exist in the splintered, denominational form of today. I have always had an us versus them mentality, not as in Christians versus non-Christians, which is a very problematic thought within itself, but as in this denomination versus that denomination. While I lament the issues that separate us, the pit within my stomach grows, and my heart aches as I try to understand why we fight. Some issues are so petty that I am ashamed I ever took part in a “defense.” Other issues, however, are of great importance, but are these issues so important that I should feel uncomfortable in the midst of my brothers and sisters who have a different perspective? Whether I should or not, I do, and that is my confession this day. My issue is not that I hold any grudges, but that I often feel judged by those who think differently. We have all heard it: “Oh, so you are a(n) “X” (fill in your own denomination or theological view). So often, in the midst of discussing a theological difference with another, something inside of me just wants to enfold the person with whom I am talking in an embrace that would arrest the expansive chasm I perceive growing between us. That, I imagine to myself, would be much better than debating. I never walk away from a debate feeling as if I have won. I may feel I presented a better argument (And let’s face it. I always feel that I've presented a better argument.), but I walk away feeling as if I have lost another opportunity to share in God’s love with a fellow Christian. Do I suggest that we should not attempt to discuss these differences? Not at all, but not at the expense of spending quality time in holy fellowship. Although my eyes are welling with warm tears and my stomach is churning as I write about the condition of our (the church community's) relationship with one another, I cannot help but be reminded of an encounter I had a few months ago that gave me a greater faith and a reason to carry on.
I met Father Aldrich, a retired Episcopal priest, at a friend's wedding. Before we met face to face, we had already talked on the phone because we were going to work together at the wedding. I was officiating, and Father Aldrich was helping me administer communion. On the phone, he expressed to me his desire for us to talk about my decision to enter into ministry. He was interested to hear my thoughts about the faith that we share. To be honest, I was not looking forward to our encounter. Instead, I was intimidated. Here was a well-educated man who had been in vocational ministry for so long that he had retired. I was a boy not even out of seminary, yet he wanted to hear my thoughts. But when we met, he had so much love and joy in his eyes and smile that the wall I had built in defense instantly melted away. He did not spare me the difficult questions, but I knew that he was talking to me because he wanted to share his love with me. He did not want to prove himself nor challenge my opinions. He genuinely wanted to encourage me. When we parted ways, he embraced me as a grandfather would his grandson, and my heart was warmed. I determined then and there that I would try to model this man, for he was surely modeling Christ.
For those of you who are young, do not be so quick to build up barriers to protect your heart or defend your perspective. You may just pass up an opportunity to learn. For those of you who are older, be mindful that those young in faith or in age need to be encouraged and reminded that you love them before you attempt to teach them. You never know when a warm embrace might change someone’s life.
The church may not be in the condition that I wish it to be, but I am encouraged that there are men and women out there who, although they do not know me, care for me because Christ’s love fills their hearts. It is in their eyes and smiles that I see the church, the church of which I am proud to be a part.
Great post, Tab. I think that we often mistake our role as "Christian soldiers." Instead of warring against the forces that keep people from knowing God, we make war against each other. I've been on this erroneous path and have engaged in enough denominational skirmishes to know exactly what happens. We come out of our corners, spar for a while, and angrily retire to our corners convinced that we are right, no matter who landed the better rhetorical punches. It is futile and distracting. Worst of all, it is so helpful to the real enemy when we waste time fighting each other instead of doing the work of the church. I wish I had discovered this at your age instead of mine. M.
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