I recently had an opportunity to embark on a short journey into the unknown. Actually, I had known this place before, but now I would be looking at it from a different point of view. When God first offered me this opportunity, I wished to deny Him, but with my wife's firm yet kind urging, I agreed to go. Now that I have come out of the other side of this journey with a still deeper understanding of the work of God, I laugh, perhaps along with the Almighty, that He would take someone so ill prepared to speak forth His word. The journey I took was to a three-day youth retreat at which I was to be the speaker. Not too long ago, I was part of a youth group, but not as its organizer or leader. I was part of the chaos, and I loved every minute of it. However, as I grew older, I realized that I wanted nothing to do with trying to lead and teach a group of adolescents like my former self.
God has a funny way of doing things and as it happens, I have come across many ideas in seminary that I have quietly reflected upon and then lamented that I had not heard them as a youth. These ideas have sat on a dusty back shelf in the corner of my mind, for I never imagined God would call me to share them with the group for which they were ultimately intended. Never say never. As the weekend progressed, I shared God’s desire to make us Holy. I wanted them to realize that our call to holiness comes not from a God who demands His people to jump through hoops because it pleases Him. Rather, it emanates from our God, who calls us to holiness as a means to demonstrate His love. Our potential lies in becoming like our loving Father, allowing Him to take control in order to show us adventures of which we could never dream.
As the talks unfolded, God spoke through me. I know I could not have reached these youths on my own. There has been nothing inside me for quite some time that was interested in youth ministry. But, as He often does, God wanted to share with me in an area of His work that I had written off long ago. Thus, one lesson that I received was a reminder that although my heart might not be called in a certain direction, it is important for me to praise God for the work He is doing in that area and never assume that what I am called to do is any more important than the work of my other brothers and sisters. However, that was not the biggest lesson God would teach me.
As the last night’s session came to a close, many of the youth stayed in their seats even after being dismissed. Many shed tears and shared with each other the feelings God had stirred within them. I know the Spirit of the Lord was there with us. We stayed as long as we could, but we had to be out of our meeting room by a certain time. Before we left, one youth pastor asked the group if any of them would care to say anything. One student wanted to share but did not want to do so in front of the entire group. A core stayed behind to hear from this young man, and my heart was racing to learn what he had to say. Because of this youth’s desire to share with only a select few, I assumed his testimony would be something that would sweep me off my feet. As he began to share, the anticipation grew and finally he told us of the sin that he had struggled with for some time. Because this young man told us in confidence His testimony, I too will keep it a secret. But I will share with you, with much shame, my initial reaction to his confession. I wanted to laugh. There was something inside of my human false self that told me that this was an insignificant problem. Since the sin was not sexual or harmful to others, I wrote it off as nothing, and my cynical old man wanted to surface his ugly face in laughter.
Here I sat thinking for a moment that this was unimportant just after telling these children that they could give over anything to their loving Father that was separating them from Him. It was a fleeting few seconds of ignorance that I will never forget, for as soon as this warped idea entered my mind, God cut to my heart to show me my error. Surely certain sins have more severe consequences on our lives than others. Surely some sins indicate a deeper sense of separation from truth than others. However, sin is not just a matter of outward effect. It is a cancer of the heart, the inner self. In a way I was reminded, and in a way I realized for the first time, why all sin is equal. This seemingly insignificant sin, an act, might I add, in which many Christians participate without regret, had kept this young man in hiding from God. This sin separated Him from experiencing the full love of the Father because this young man was serving this sin instead of God. It had plagued his heart so that he could not share in full relationship with his Father. I pray that I never again, even for a moment, assume that someone else's struggle is insignificant. Any sin that we allow to be bigger than God in our hearts is devastating to our relationship with Him. This young man let go of his that night, and God worked in an exciting and mighty way.
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